Most days of the week my routine consists of dropping my daughter at school, then taking the dog for a long walk to a local cafe where I can share some food, sit for a while to read, doom scroll, and listen to music or more likely a podcast.
On my playlist this week was an excellent series from the NSW Cancer Council1 in which experts discuss common experiences for people with cancer. There's a lot to relate to, as a sufferer or supporter, and it is well worth a listen.
One thing that stood out was a conversation about some of the typical ways friends respond when sufferers first break the news about their diagnosis. It is one of those awkward moments when neither party really knows what to say, so it is unfair to label anything as inappropriate especially if it is well meaning. But I had to laugh at the humour found in the similarity with my experience.
A common response people make is to recount how they knew someone else with cancer. Who died. After prolonged suffering exacerbated by their treatment. Horror stories.
Another common response is to offer advice about secret curative treatments, usually against all conventional medical wisdom2. Implying that the reductionistic cancer research world has failed to recognise the cure can be found in less than five minutes by a novice wielding a smart phone with a search engine. If oncologists only knew how easy it was they wouldn't have wasted their life with rigorous study and practice, nor would they need to bother you with harmful substances.
Or perhaps they say not to worry, everything will turn out alright. Because. You look well even without hair. Platitudes.
It is OK to be lost for words. I am most of the time.
I'm one third of the way through my chemotherapy schedule and I am due for the next damage assessment. This week I'll be undergoing some more tests and scans to see what has changed. The lead up to receiving test results, good news or bad, can be an uncertain time, a cause for ‘scanxiety’3. It is a waiting experience that is shared by my loved ones.
https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/podcasts/?category=podcasts
https://www.cancer.org.au/iheard/sitemap
https://lungfoundation.com.au/articles/scanxiety-managing-the-emotional-impacts-of-medical-scans-or-tests
Yes Andrew..people can easily be stuck for words..yet their love and support regardless of how awkward it appears remains a special sentiment. I know you have results from scan coming up..I prayer for you earnestly...may God resolved your illness. Sending "brotherly " love which i know is multiplied by many! Talk soon..enjoy the weekend mate !
Hi Andrew, praying for you Brother. Thanks for sharing your insights and sense of humour. Praying for some good news ahead. Dave